Kate Taylor

By Kate Taylor katetaylor

This week the world has been shocked by the tragic death of Robin Williams, actor and comedian, father, husband, friend. Like many wonderful people, he had battled with a depressive illness for many years. In the end, with all the love and help in the world, it infected him, writhing through his body like a cancer spreading through every vessel. Because that’s what depression does, like many illnesses, it chokes the body until it can no longer cope, and it tries to kill you.

You may notice this article has yet to make the remark of mental illness being the same as physical ailments. The brain is a physical entity, an organ, and an important one at that. Brain surgery can literally change someone’s personality. It is a physical illness, the only difference is our lack of knowledge into the workings of the mind.

We are hopelessly, ridiculously behind compared to our knowledge of other areas of the body. The best theory over the last 30 years is that people with untreated depression have low levels of ‘monoamines’ i.e. mood-related chemicals including dopamine and serotonin. Drugs such as anti-depressants are used to try to correct this.

Recently the University of Cambridge has been looking at certain infection-marker proteins of which those suffering from certain chronic conditions (including depression) had very low levels. The study has been published in the JAMA psychiatry journal. In an article for Time, a main researcher in the study, Dr. Golam Khandaker, compared immune systems to thermostats. “Most of the time, thermostats are turned low and turned up high when we have an infection, but for some people, the thermostat is always turned up high. For these people, they may be more likely to have chronic syndromes, and be more likely to suffer depression.”

There is plenty of solid, scientific evidence proving that depression is a very real, debilitating disease. So why is it still stigmatised? Fear. Depression is not only an intensely personal experience, it is frighteningly dark. If understanding breeds empathy, how can people possibly try to understand when the sufferer can scarcely grasp why they are going through this? Jonathon Rottenberg, writing for the Huffington Post, believes that one reason is a lack of a unified symbol. We wear our LIVESTRONG bracelets and pink ribbons with pride, and now in America there is the ‘Come out of the Dark’ campaign; complete with glow in the dark wristbands.

Many friends and relatives of those who are suffering or have suffered with depression have little or no idea there is anything wrong. Without a label on your jumper it’s easy to hide. And when you feel useless, worthless, like you’ve got nothing left, standing up and declaring yourself to the world, or even your closest pals, can feel like a battle not worth fighting.

But it is. Because the sun will shine again, and if the tragedy of Mork, Mrs. Doubtfire, Jack, Dr. Sean Maguire and John Keating teaches anything, it is that we must enjoy the laughter and acknowledge the tears. Ask how someone is feeling, how they’re really feeling, and remember that the smallest of gestures can literally change, and save, a life.

If you are feeling out of sorts, or are worried about someone who is, the following sites can help.

• www.samaritans.org
• www.mind.org.uk
• www.nhs.uk/conditions/depression
• www.blurtitout.org

Kate Taylor is a sociologist, mother and tea and cake lover. When not working in sociological and marketing research with her company, Galilee Research, Kate can be found talking about political philosophy on the school run.

By Kate Taylor katetaylor

This month has led to a furore amongst experts after Penelope Leach, a leading psychologist and author, claimed that overnight separation from a mother can lead to a variety of damaging psychological issues for the child.

This, she claims, is because women are usually the primary care giver and nothing should interrupt this, particularly for children under the age of five. The evidence supporting this is qualitative at best, and has been argued against by many.

Professor Charles Lewis of Lancaster University said to The Guardian: “Metanalyses [reviews combining the results of large numbers of studies] that look at whether or not it is better for the non-resident parent to have contact with the child show that the more contact there is with the non-resident parent, the better the outcome for the child.”

According to the Office of National Statistics, 42% of marriages now end in divorce, and in the East Midlands over 300,000 couples are living separately following some sort of separation.

No one can pretend that children with two parental homes are a small minority. So how does this affect the children in question? Most experts agree that maintaining a strong bond with both parents is the best way to ensure a happy, healthy childhood which should lead to a stable adulthood.

However, it seems hard to deny that separation will rarely be a positive experience for any child, unless of course there are extenuating circumstances such as domestic violence or abuse. Perhaps the answer lies with the parents maintaining a hospitable relationship, at least where offspring are concerned, to avoid the pillar to post situation many find themselves in.

Sheila Kitzinger speaks out in The Telegraph, “I believe we need to be more analytical and also more understanding of situations where a child may have more than one home at an early age. Obviously that includes asking the children what they feel – even three-year-olds are quite capable of expressing a sensible opinion. And remember, children are not our property to be passed between a warring couple un-consulted.”

Leach has said her worry is for children who are used as weaponry by parents in messy custody battles and divorces. Whilst no one will disagree that using a child as ammunition can never bode well, the idea that the mother even having a single night’s break could cause permanent damage to a child seems narrow sighted. Parents need a break, this is common sense. Does Leach believe that likewise grandparents should be banned from having sleepovers? What about staying with a friend from school?

When you become a parent for the first time, your world is blown asunder. For the first time, your happiness takes a back seat, much more than the sacrifices made in a relationship. Further down the line you realise that said happiness hasn’t really diminished, it is found in things that feed the soul.

After the hardest of days, seeing a child give you a goofy smile or a kiss on the cheek before they run off to dump an entire loo roll down the toilet — it makes it all worth while. Does this mean that as a mother we should forgo all of the liberties and freedoms that come with adulthood? And what of a loving father? Should he stand back and watch his children grow from a distance, longing to be more involved to create a bond formed in the earliest days that will last a life time?

These questions are probably best answered by the experts: parents and their children.

Kate Taylor is a sociologist, mother and tea and cake lover. When not working in sociological and marketing research with her company, Galilee Research, Kate can be found talking about political philosophy on the school run.